Welcome to the Clarity Conversations! Stephani Roy McCallum of Courageous Leadership Project
You avoid conflict. You don’t know how to protect your boundaries without seeming petulant. What if you had the skills to do better? You could enjoy healthy boundaries and engage in productive conflict, the kind that deepens relationships instead of breaking them. Then, you could feel so much more in control of your destiny. Today I speak with Stephani Roy McCallum, Chief Storm Rider at Courageous Leadership Project, where she steps into the storm of high emotion and conflict and rides it to clear skies.
With 25 years of experience in high conflict, high emotion, high stakes situations, Stephani has worked on five continents facilitating tough conversation on important issues. Her work ranges from protests over energy projects to deep conversations about community rebuilding after natural disasters – and every topic in between. She has been the recipient of numerous international awards for her work.
Steph sees a world where a new kind of leader is needed, willing to have brave, honest conversations about the things that matter. When leaders show up with fierce courage, open hearts and a deep commitment to integrity, people can move from stuck to possible. Stephani believes that brave, honest conversations are how we solve the challenges in our world, together.
See our Clarity Conversation by clicking Stephani’s photo.
If you are interested in how Stephani’s work can help you, go to her website: https://www.bravelylead.com Here you can sign up to talk to Stephani and read her blog.
As always, you can learn more about how to manage conflict as part of you and your team’s leadership development by scheduling a 30-minute Free Agent Solution session with me. Simply click here.
Edith takes on very complicated work and life situations and finds herself distracted by emotional drama…a lot. Jonathan, despite consistent success with impressive work challenges, burns himself out thinking he won’t prevail. Ava wants control and won’t move forward without full information, which means she misses out on some great opportunities. Tom shows up hesitant, which makes people question his confidence…and his job search is taking longer than it should.
Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, your results are like a tire with a slow leak? Seriously…it doesn’t have to be that way. Clients are often looking for tactical solutions, “Just tell me what to DO.” But what coaches know is that so much of how things unfold has to do with being. What you believe and how that makes you “show up.” If you believe you’ll never find a job, you won’t send out resumes or network. If, on the other hand, you believe that it will be a challenge but you will find a job, you will talk to people, create a strong message, and update your resume. Different beliefs drive different actions, and that drives different outcomes.
Here’s a question. When faced with something new, do you get scared, angry, excited, hopeful? How we do one thing is often how we do everything. Instead of resolutions around goals, let 2019 be about shifting one underlying attitude to one of greater abundance. What would be possible then?
If you would like to have a conversation about shifting the one underlying attitude that may be holding you back, simply click here to schedule a complimentary session with me.
What if you didn’t have to push so hard to get things done. What if work could feel more like riding the wave. Today I speak with Tifin Dillon, founder of Your Stellar Life. In addition to her studies in astrology, psychology, human development and metaphysics, Tifin worked for decades as a teacher and coach. I know this is different for me! — usually, I play in the world of clinical and academic models. What I love about Tifin’s perspective is that it is so good for those of us with workaholic tendencies. If I feel stuck or exhausted, I check in with Tifin and she says, “Yeah, forget that for now. The alignments are going a different way. Just let it be and come back to it next week.” And sure enough, the productivity returns as she predicted. I get to pause, and the work still gets done. Magic!
See our Clarity Conversation by clicking here.
If you are interested in how Tifin’s work can help your career, go to her website: https://www.tifindillon.com Here you can sign up to talk to Tifin, sign-up for her newsletter or download her 2019 Astrological Guide (with webinar).
- Resolving to eat and drink less, exercise more and sleep better keep body and mind healthy. That encourages positive thinking and reduces self-doubt.
- Meditation and spiritual practice keep you in the space of abundance, not scarcity, and that helps grow confidence.
- Tending to interpersonal dynamics with emotional intelligence increase trust and influence. That helps promote healthy boundaries, reduce defensiveness, and improve collaboration.
Can Confidence Make You a More Generous Person?
Several years ago, frustrated with the suffocating materialism of Christmas in New York City, I did a little research to understand where it all comes from. Here’s what I learned. In the northern hemisphere, the harvest was complete in October/November, providing an abundance of produce. Snow would be blanketing the fields until March or April, so there was only enough hay for a portion of the herd, and many animals were slaughtered. The days were short and cold. Lights and evergreens were used to represent hope. Gathering and sharing the excess food built community. Even caroling was a way to check on the elderly and those who are alone.
What does this have to do with your confidence? It’s like this. Gremlins have a way of getting us caught up in our own heads. And when we do that, we can feel less than, become frustrated by perceived injustice, become judgmental of others…the list goes on. What if you could feel good and strong, accomplished and at peace. Then, it’s easier to give others the benefit of the doubt, see beyond action to intention, and just have more time and energy for others. Confidence isn’t just about feeling good; it’s a gift to others.
This year, why not boost your confidence by looking back at your accomplishments, all that you learned, and the gift you give to others when you are at your best. Here is my year-end appreciative inquiry:
– What went well this year? What top 10 things energized you and gave you confidence?
– What was the impact of those accomplishments? On you, your team, other key stakeholders, on long-term plans?
– Why is it important? Which of your, or your team’s strengths, we’re leveraged?
– What did you overcome? What did you learn from the things that didn’t go well?
– What will next year look like if you build on what went well this year?
– What goals can you identify each quarter that would get you there?
Here’s wishing you peace and abundance this holiday season.
To set up a 30-minute Clear Strategy 2019 session, CLICK HERE
Clarity Conversations: Isabelle Steichen
Welcome to the Clarity Conversations! For this first show, I am thrilled to introduce you to my cousin Isabelle. She’s worked at the Bryant Park Corporation, Kitchen Surfing (I loved being a guinea pig) and Sawyer to name a few. All while growing her presence in the vegan world with her website, podcast and meal planner, ThePlantiful.com.
To watch our Clarity Conversation, click on the photo.
I hope Isabelle’s insights are helpful to you.
As always, you can learn more about how to make the Free Agent Solution work for you by scheduling a 30-minute Free Agent Solution session, simply click here.
Sometimes Elvis shows up on your subway train and you just say, “yep, that’s right.” The universe is inviting you into a more creative space…to know that incongruous things will make sense if you just take a courageous step, ease into the void, and trust that what you create will be even better than you can imagine right now.
What if you had the right guide at those moments? Like climbing a peak (or being in a certain phase of career) you work hard, then stop at the base camps to acclimate. When the time is right, your guide gives you the right equipment and insight to help you leverage everything you know and start climbing again.
Right now I am in a wildly creative space and am looking to work with people ready to start a new climb. If you are too, I’d love to talk to you because I’m feeling ambitious:
- First, I’ve extended the Free Agent Solution program to a six-month version. Beyond job search, I want you to develop your autonomy so you never have to job hunt again. Instead, the right opportunities come up because you are poised for them and people know it.
- Next, I am starting my “Clarity Conversations” show. One of the amazing benefits of my work is that I meet people doing incredibly interesting things that intersect with what I do! It’s time to share. The first conversation will be in next week’s newsletter.
- Finally, I’m tired of my own voice! Please let me know what you’d love to hear about, are struggling with or is getting you stuck.
Don’t forget that Monday is the last chance to get a free month of coaching, with my 3-month Free Agent Solution program. To learn more, schedule a free 30-minute Free Agent Solution session.
Let’s make Elvis on the train the new normal. 😉
Want More Autonomy at Work?
The dancing leader video cracks me up every time. Talk about autonomy — do whatever you want and others follow! The real take away is that we each have a purpose. The change agent, the “c’mon guys!” guy, those who create community and those who set norms so the crowd doesn’t trample itself. Those roles are very connected to autonomy. To have more at work:
- Know what comes naturally, do it well and truly embrace the value you bring.
- Understand that autonomy is a two-way street. From your boss’s shoes, ask what behaviors or messages they need to ease their mind.
Friday I attended the annual coaches meeting for the Columbia Business School alumni office. We heard about employment trends and we shared what we are seeing. Here are a few insights:
- People are looking to create a cohesive narrative because they’ve had so many jobs
- Technology like AI, machine learning and social media are now part of most jobs
- Clients realize just finding the next job isn’t enough, and want strategies for their entire career
To me, autonomy was the backdrop of it all. With disruption as the new normal, you need a way to tell your story, stay abreast of emerging skillsets, and take the long view of career. It’s autonomy beyond just having freedom in your job right now; it’s about knowing what’s around the corner because you are proactively getting the next opportunity.
To learn about autonomy in your career, schedule a free 30-minute Free Agent Solution session.
Back to the video. What I love is that the video is its own proof — after all, it wouldn’t be much without the brilliant voiceover that shapes it into a story and provides meaning.
When I was applying to business school, I worked behind the fragrance counter at Barney’s, New York. Barney’s was a special place, and yet it seemed that business schools were looking for Wall Street experience. So I wrote an essay about everything I knew about the stock market, which wasn’t much. A work friend, who I am forever grateful to, read my essay and ripped it up right in front of me. And it was pre-PC, so that copy had taken a long time to type!
My friend said, “Claire, you sell perfume. Why don’t you write about that. Tell them how when you change the display, different things sell. And when you really listen, you can better understand customers’ needs and they come back again and again.” I followed the advice, and still remember the first line of my essay: “In every industry there are movers and shakers. In beauty one of the greatest was Mrs. Estee Lauder,” and from there the essay wrote itself.
Every day I see clients not trust their story and try to tell someone else’s. This is especially true with the highs and lows. We are taught not to be arrogant, so we don’t know how to share our strengths. And when there is a bump in the road to explain, we tell all sorts of tales that only make people feel like we are hiding something — not a great first impression.
For the positive stuff, think about connecting your skill or effort to an impact, “I often hear that my research is thorough and that makes my team feel confident in client meetings. I am really proud of that” or “I am often chosen to be in front of the room. I love to engage the audience.” Notice the soft, “I am proud of” or “I often…” You don’t have to say, “I am great!” to share your areas of strength.
For the bumps, start with the truth and connect it with what you’ve learned: “I guess everyone gets a do-over. I was there a year and a half. I learned a lot on the job. I also learned that next time I will do more due diligence before accepting a role,” or “I stayed home with my kids for XX years and now that they are bigger, I realize I have a ton of energy to get back to the work I love.”
You have worked hard and done great things. Don’t let your technicolor story get washed out.