Is It Really Possible to Be in Control of Your Destiny? The Influence Tools That Build Confidence

Thanks to many of you who responded to my survey on topics of interest. Overwhelmingly the topics you asked for were Confidence and Burnout, so I’ll give you both. This is the third of my confidence series. Also watch out for the webinar coming in January: The Confidence Toolkit – How to Know What to Say in Every Situation, From Navigating Your Career to Inspiring Your Team

In 2009, a year into my coaching practice, several clients came to me dying to leave their jobs, “Claire, I can’t stay here another day!”  They talked about lack of recognition or ability to move ahead, horrible bosses, and colleagues who threw them under the bus.  When I told them it would take 4-6 months to find a job, many panicked, “How am I going to deal with this place?” So we talked about communication and behavior tools that would help them heal and build relationships, let them get recognized for their good work, and get more work that they liked.

After a few months, I started hearing stories like, “Wow, Claire.  You won’t believe what happened yesterday.  We were leaving the office and my boss said I’d done a great job with the client today and that she wanted me to handle this big meeting we have next week.”  After a few more months it was, “OK, I don’t know what to say. You and I are working on a job search, but my boss just told me they want to offer me a promotion.  I’m confused, but happy!”

These clients had learned to navigate their environment so they could experience what coaches call “Being at Choice.”  They hadn’t become control freaks, but they had gained an understanding of how to control their destiny. They had learned how to manage conversations so they could ask for what they needed in ways that were seen as collaborative and innovative, not whiny.

The outcome was a win-win.  Their managers were happier, and they felt less stressed and more effective. My secret weapon for influence is the Social Style (or DISC), which explains different people’s behavior, what motivates them and how you can adjust to have more of the relationships you want, including motivating your team.

And to learn more about how to motivate your team, or yourself, click here to schedule a 30-minute conversation.

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