Getting Unstuck

There are two kinds of “being stuck” I commonly see in my work.  Both are important to know about.

• Chronic, cyclical stuckness.  This is the kind of being stuck that goes on for years.  It is typically around something that you want, but just don’t go for.  And unlike moving forward, where you want something and go for it, here there is some limiting belief or unknown benefit of staying where you are.  To evolve, this scenario requires some real change in thinking, habit or awareness.  You have to know what is in the way before you can change it.  When you stay in a dead end job, don’t have the difficult conversation at work, or keep postponing your health, there is usually a reason.  Several books provide insights and can be a first step.  One I like a lot is, “Immunity to Change” by Robert Kegan.
• Temporary stuckness.  Our learning curve is a bit like the traditional stock market performance lines.  We go up and down, but overall we go up.  Within the up and down is a cycle that takes us trough 1) the excitement of new learning 2) the dip 3) turning the corner and 4) synthesizing and moving ahead.  Have you ever been really excited about something, then suddenly lost interest…or lost the confidence you had around it?  That is temporary stuckness.  The best way through here is to stick with it.  Put one foot in front of the other, even if it’s not making your heart sing in the moment.  Finally, if you really can’t find the energy to keep going, don’t panic.  Walk away and take a walk, see a friend, take a day or two away from it.  Chances are that you are very close to a big “aha!”  We can be so demanding of ourselves, but sometimes it is best to ust give it space.