“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!” Who doesn’t chuckle when you think of Stuart Smalley. Affirmations can sound funny, but they are a powerful tool. They can be used to change the way others view us, to push us to perform in our areas of strength, or to bring awareness to the ways in which we undermine ourselves.
I often ask my clients to choose an affirmation that they tell themselves five times a day, and say it to someone else at least two times a day. What they come back with is impressive. One client whose organization had merged and was being treated like an outsider chose the line, “I am different. And I am ok with that.” She used it with one of the colleagues who was being a bully in a meeting and it stopped him dead in his tracks. By naming the very thing he was using to manipulate, she took back the power. He apologized immediately for his behavior.
In “Expect to Win,” Carla Harris famously used the affirmation, “I’m tough!” to shift the perception that she was too gentle for the banking environment she works in. And a recent article I read suggested that women’s frequent use of “I’m sorry!” as a tic can actually have an effect on our confidence and people’s perception of our authority.
Want to give it a try? Here are some guidelines:
- What is something you know you are good at and want to be known for?
- …something you are good at but others don’t seem to see?
- …something you wish you were better at?
- …something unspoken in your office that you can bust open by just saying it?
- …a habit you say that undermines you. How about stopping or replacing it?