But, it’s not that easy for women — especially when life and the economy get in the way; and when companies reorganize, downsize, spin off and merge. Unfortunately gender-bias is often part of the picture, not to mention a lack of corporate support. The result generates turmoil that can push the most career-minded professional off-track. As women, how do we retain our momentum and focus? How do we move forward successfully?
From a personal perspective, my last years in cosmetics were challenging. My company, which I loved, was acquired the day I left for my first maternity leave. I came back to a new company, a new boss, and a workforce that was apprehensive of layoffs. I never really clicked with new superiors, felt unsupported in the organization, and was dealing with the new challenges of balancing work and motherhood. After a year and a half I quit and started my coaching business.
Fast forward three years. I gathered a group of professional women, mostly CBS graduates, for a focus group/discussion around women, career and gender bias. I fully expected to hear outrageous stories. What I observed instead surprised me.
Several women talked at length about the obstacles that gender bias created at their work. A few, though, spoke differently about these experiences. Even though they acknowledged that gender differences occasionally worked against them, they took charge, read a book or got coached, adapted their behavior, and moved on. Successfully.
Coming out of the focus group, I immediately thought of Stephen Covey’s concepts of a Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern. It’s not that the women citing and fixating on gender bias were wrong; gender bias is ubiquitous. Yet for most of us, it is in our Circle of Concern. It exists, but we can’t do much about it. That is, until we begin to expand our Circle of Influence.
Men and women are both vulnerable to complaining about things we can’t really fix. However, women display a critical difference. We are more likely to blame ourselves for things we are not responsible for. Judith Warner, among others, talks about it in her book Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety. Just about any woman you talk to will say the same. So how do we take on the right amount of responsibility? What can we expect in the workplace, and what is beyond the scope of what corporations can or should do?
Next Thursday’s discussion will address this very topic. We will have a transparent dialogue with experienced executives and workforce specialists to understand how each of us can make the decisions that are best for us.