Thomas Friedman wrote a article this Sunday called, “How About Better Parents?” In it he says that too many parents demand better teachers, when in fact the biggest difference in children’s school performance comes from parent involvement.
Reading the article, it occurred to how much we look to others to take care of so many things in our lives. If we are not happy in our marriage, it’s marriage’s fault (or the spouse’s). If we are not getting promoted at work, it’s the company’s fault. If we can’t get a new job, it’s the economy’s fault. In many ways, it really is not our fault that we think this way. We live in a society that trains us to believe that products, services, lawyers, even therapists can take care of the tough stuff.
Yet interestingly, the world moves forward around us. So, how do we know when we are falling into the “I’m not responsible” trap? What are you frustrated about? Who do you find yourself being envious of? What messages that you hear annoy you?
A couple of thoughts. Rather than take a blanket approach, what small version of the ideal can you bite off? Even one date with your spouse can have a tremendous effect. One successful project at work, or one lunch with a colleague can really help move things forward. Then, what is the voice telling you that you cannot have what you want? Is it really true? And finally, one master of taking responsibility is Stephen Covey. I am re-reading his Seven Habits and keep finding new inspiration.