For a while now, I’ve observed a generational divide when it comes to professional growth.
The more “career advanced” folks, we’ll call them, see feedback to the junior people on their team as critical to growth.
The junior people on the team often bristle from the feedback, and see setting a boundary as the appropriate response.
What makes it confusing is that we’re in a period where values are shifting from Boomer norms to Millennial and Gen Z norms.
By Boomer norms, face time at the office is evidence of commitment, while younger professionals see work product, wherever it happens, as proof of commitment.
Given this reality, how do you, an ambitious professional, know when to invite feedback and when to push back?
Early in my career I was in the wrong job.
Back then, every little suggestion got on my nerves and discouraged me.
As my work aligned to better reflect the kind of work that energizes me, a funny thing happened.
I invited feedback.
I was less defensive because I felt lucky to be doing something I loved, and had learned to cherished my strengths.
From that perspective, I couldn’t wait to get even better.
Now, I get that not everyone feels like they can shift to a job they like better (although it’s never too late), but here are some thoughts:
Know what you’re good at and how it contributes to the organization.
Learn about different behavioral styles so that it’s easier to identify when feedback is really about THEM, not you.
Also learn about different styles so you can appreciate how another perspective might make you better, even as you don’t take it personally.
Connect to your long view goals. It’s easier to get feedback when you are at choice, and vision can help with that.
Ask for feedback on your terms. Schedule it when you are feeling good, so a colleague doesn’t provide it in a moment of frustration.
And if you feel that someone’s bias is woven into their feedback, be patient, get advice from a colleague or H.R., and find a way to let them know.
Getting feedback is so important to growth, but getting it in terms that resonate for you is a fair goal.