For the last three years I have been a coach for high-achieving women in mid-career. Before that I managed my own career in a very female intensive industry — luxury cosmetics and fragrance marketing.
More recently I have had occasion to talk to women’s groups about the challenges of managing their own careers. What I discovered surprised me, and led me to revisit Stephen Covey’s concept of the Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern. It seems to me that for many women, the issue of gender bias comes up when for whatever reason, their career is in a moment of stall. Maybe the environment has changed. Maybe what got them this far is no longer working.
The women who seem to have it together are the same who don’t complain a lot about gender bias. They are proactive about their careers. They realize that gender bias is in what Covey refers to as the Circle of Concern (out of their control). When they encounter difficulties that they feel are gender related, they inform themselves, get feedback, get training or coaching, and address the issue. In doing so they actually expand their Circle of Influence and begin to make headway with the issues in their Circle of Concern.
The other group, frustrated or in a stalled moment in their career, seem to talk a lot about gender bias. They are not wrong. Gender bias is everywhere. It is also largely outside of our circle of influence, and out of our control. These women are in a place of being reactive, not proactive.
I realize that what I am saying won’t be acceptable to a lot in the group. I would be interested in hearing how others have experienced the proactive-reactive dynamic in their own careers. I can say with confidence that the proactive periods in my career have been wonderful for me. The moments when I took my eye off the ball, became reactive, were tough. My work with women to simplify career management was born out of those learnings.