I recently had a realization. Less of an Oprah moment and more of a long, slow turn on a country road. In other words, hard-earned. I realized that the vision I had for myself over the next few years was based on outside markers of success, not on my own. The vision was impressive, “important,” even noble. But it didn’t reflect me, or at least not where I am right now. The vision was that I would take the learning I’ve had working with women executives and work with companies to create policies to retain those women through the family years. I would be an important voice in defining the workforce standards of the 21st century! I would leave my mark! Somehow, the vision never felt quite right.
What does feel right, even though it may seem “small,” is that I am helping people get unstuck every day. I love connecting with them, I love strategizing with them, I love seeing them have their own Oprah moments. There is a concept that I find really useful in Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” The model compares the Circle of Concern with the Circle of Influence. The idea is that things in our Circle of Concern, while important and often reflective of our values, are largely outside of our control. These are things like global warming and poverty. They can also be things like elements of our company’s policies, or ways of doing business that we don’t agree with. On the other hand, things within our Circle of Influence are the things we can control. These are largely around self-management, choosing how we want to respond to events, and who we want to be. The big policy vision was in my Circle of Concern. The coaching I do every day is within my Circle of Influence. What’s most interesting to me is that when we focus on our Circle of Influence and do really well, we expand our influence into the Circle of Concern.
I know, I know, it’s easy to reduce this notion to a caricature. The janitor who is always smiling, or the employee with a terrible boss who somehow has the power to turn that boss into a pussycat. But there are real opportunities to leverage the Circles model every day. And that is at the heart of Leadership. The knowledge that what we need to be successful is already inside of us.
So a couple of questions for you? Where does your vision come from? Is it from you, what you love to do, where you lose track of time, what makes you feel alive? Or, is it from the land of “shoulds,” parents, media or bosses? Let it knock around for a while. Maybe you will have a country road realization…
Please share your thoughts below! I’d love to hear them.
Great realization, Claire! You ask in the article “Where does your vision come from?” Not that long ago – less than four years ago – I thought it came from what others expected of me. I remember having a country road realization in a 6th floor conference room in the company I was working for. It’s not easy to trust ourselves – we’re taught throughout life that society has something in mind for us. We get “domesticated” as the book “The Four Agreements” discusses. Even now, I need to constantly remind myself – everyday – to trust what I want and not try to be some version of what others are or what they expect of me. Great article!