Based on several of you writing to me about the importance of faith in feeling confident, this post is about purpose and faith as lines of sight. To be honest, writing about faith is something I have dragged my feet on. It blends with religion, which is such a contentious topic. But with the recent Papal visit right here in NYC, I guess the time is right.
Last week the news media kept highlighting the Pope’s refusal to limit his contact with the public. I love that. True, it is making his handlers frantic and made my walk through Central Park twice as long as usual. But what I see in the gesture is a letting go of control. The Pope says that his safety is in the hands of the universe. In a “Just Do It” nation, that feeling goes against a lot of what we believe. The American Dream relies on the idea that you can make it happen, it’s all in your hands. While that initiative is admirable, it can make us highly anxious, and it can inhibit confidence. We do have to take action, but that action is best when it’s balanced with some easing of control.
When I work with clients on public speaking I tell them not to focus on their feelings of nervousness, but to think about why they are up there and what they are wanting for the audience. With intention and purpose, they can let go and trust that their efforts will connect them to the room. When the sense of purpose is bigger than the fear, we take action and that action in turn increases confidence. At networking events I tell myself that there is at least one person in the crowd who would love to get unstuck with a challenge at work. I was put there to connect with them. That perspective makes the awkward, even scary, hellos and small talk so much easer.
What would it do to your confidence to let go a little?
All my best,
Claire