There’s a lot in the air. Hope, relief, inspiration returning, the joy of being with friends.
I also haven’t perceived such collective anger since the one-year anniversary of 9/11 in New York. I remember noticing that people were snapping at each other and shoving their way to the front getting on the subway.
Why do things feel “darkest before the dawn” when they are actually improving? Well, fatigue from where we’ve been, the realization of what we went through are a good place to start.
A quick online search for what causes anger yields:
– A perceived threat (hello)
– Losing your patience (yes, we’re exhausted)
– Feeling as if your opinion or efforts aren’t appreciated (we worked, often thanklessly, to keep things going)
– Injustice (yup)
– Unique anger based on what you were taught to expect from yourself (the pressure of expectation can be debilitating)
In short, if the mix of things you’re feeling right now includes “I can’t take it anymore!” I can tell you that you’re not alone. I’m seeing it in clients, friends, even myself.
Anger is not wrong or bad, but how we choose to respond is important. The link above gives some insights. I also like to include the following:
– Be with the feelings underneath your thoughts. Take some time to get still. Feel the fear, hurt, unfairness, jealousy or whatever you are feeling. Don’t judge these feelings, but let yourself acknowledge them.
– If you do choose to express your anger to someone, focus on how their actions or the situation made you feel more than on what you make of their intentions. It’s vulnerable, but much more humanizing. From there it’s easier to talk about solutions.
Permission to feel anger! And let it be an opportunity to understand what you need, care for yourself, and ease into the joy that is on the horizon.
All my best,
Claire