“Compare and Despair” is a familiar trope.
What if instead of avoiding comparison, you dove in to find the gem in it?
Several years ago, a f
riend told me to not be ashamed of the jealousy that comparison brings, but to sit in it.
Jealousy is a form of anger, and anger happens when there’s something in the way of what you want.
If you choose to feel shame about it, you fester.
That kills your motivation.
If instead, you push past the anger and sit in your jealousy, something amazing happens.
The anger releases.
You realize that you don’t want all of what that person has or who they are.
And you recognize the 10% or 20% of what they have that you do want.
And 10% or 20% is usually pretty manageable.
That’s motivating.
Now you can make a plan.
If someone at work drives you crazy, take a beat and ask yourself if you’re jealous of them.
Would their being smaller make it better?
Probably not!
Would sitting in your feelings help you understand the part of what they have, that you’d like too?
With that awareness you can make a plan to reach your own goal in that area.
Having “ugly” feelings isn’t shameful.
Processing them effectively can help you hit the motherlode of your motivation.