This holiday season, I saw three movies: “Gravity,” “Frozen” and “All is Lost.” Maybe it’s me, but a theme around isolation seemed to be popping off the screen. In each movie, the main characters are self-sufficient, resourceful, and independent, but they are also alone and disconnected. Could a feeling of individual isolation be in our collective mood? We are surrounded by messaging around finding personal fulfillment, being fully self-expressed, being great leaders, and managing our career and brand. What if all of that focus on self is coming at the cost of mutual support with others?
Stephen Covey wrote about three states of being: Dependence, Independence and Interdependence:
“Interdependence is a far more mature, more advanced concept.
If I am physically interdependent, I am self-reliant and capable, but I also realize that
you and I working together can accomplish far more than, even at my best, I could accomplish alone.
If I am emotionally interdependent, I derive a great sense of worth within myself,
but I also recognize the need for love, for giving and for receiving love from others.
If I am intellectually interdependent, I realize that I need the best thinking of other people to join with my own.”
It’s not so much that we need a pendulum swing back from a goal of fulfillment. It’s that when we consider our sense of purpose and positive impact on others as part of our fulfillment, so much more is possible. Here’s an idea taken from Marie Forleo’s website: Make a list of 10 initiatives you can take that would add value for others. And another idea. One of my favorite coaches, Ron Renaud, once advised me to get a “board of directors.” A few friends and/or mentors who could support me as I built my coaching practice. What a positive difference that made for me.
So how about giving these a try? When we can have a positive impact, and in turn, let others have a positive impact on us, we have community and fulfillment.
Warmest wishes,
Claire