Have a Controller, Avoider, or Victim on Your Team?

When you think of the voice of the inner critic, maybe it takes you to the times you’ve been terrified, with shaky legs, before starting a presentation. Or maybe you remember the higher salary you kicked yourself for not negotiating, or the time your pushy colleague asked the boss for your big project right in front of you.

If those were the only times saboteurs showed up, life would be pretty easy. What actually happens is that saboteur voices show up all the time, in lots and lots of different forms. What do I mean?  

Well, have you ever had a colleague you’ve followed up with again and again, only to have someone else tell you that they never got the information they needed from that person to move ahead?

Or maybe one of your direct reports takes charge when things get hairy. And you like it; after all, things are getting done. But then you get annoyed because others on the team don’t collaborate. They just seem to resist like mules.  

Or maybe you have a person in Finance who won’t release the funds you need for a new initiative for fear of the sky falling.

Avoidance, too much control, hyper-vigilance. These are behaviors that are generated by the inner critic. Everyone’s got their own versions. And they happen when tensions rise.  

Which in today’s work world is pretty much all the time.

So what do you do? You want your team to make smart decisions, from a place of calm and wisdom, versus fear and panic. And for you, wouldn’t it be nice if decision-making were not fraught?

Many of you know that I’ve recommended Positive Intelligence often over the years.  It’s a great model for building resilience and mental fitness so that your team (and you) can make better decisions in the face of uncertainty. Here are three quick things from the approach that you can do:

  1. Be aware of your own saboteur voices so you can recognize and intercept them when they happen. Take the free assessment here:  https://www.positiveintelligence.com/assessments/
  2. Build your sage. Do this with meditation in the morning and throughout the day. See a five-minute version here: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/resources/#gym
  3. Build self-command. Have a system for connecting with your calm, creative self when things get hairy. For this last part, I recommend doing some breathing, then assessing the situation as it is versus as you imagine it, then brainstorming ways to solve it without limitations, and then choosing how to move forward.

In May I will be running a free six-week Positive Intelligence program for six people. It’s free because I’ve done the program, I know how powerful it is and I want to bring it to organizations. I also know it’s a commitment, so I can’t really ask people to recommend it unless they’ve experienced it.

If this is something that is interesting to you, please write me directly at claire@clearstrategycoaching.com. I’d love to have you join!

All my best,
Claire

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