Professionals come to me when they’re struggling to make a change. One day they are determined, then a week goes by and their big goal is on some back burner behind the presentation their boss just asked them to re-do…. again.
In the space between desire and reality is expectation. When we’re overwhelmed, expectation can turn into judgment, hovering like a drone, making our goals feel like we’re swimming with our clothes on. Can’t ever quite get to where we want to go, or by the time we get there it feels like we’re behind.
This year my desire was to be the superhero coach who could rise above it all, pivot to keep business thriving and still have delicious family meals on the table 3x a day. The reality was that some days (hmmm, maybe quite a few), my 30 minute “Word Cookies” allotment turned into two hours and by afternoon I looked down to see I was still in pajamas.
As that was happening, the expectation and judgment were growing more powerful. And the drag was palpable.
So some time in September I decided to just give up. I mean, if not this year, when? I took advice my mother often gave me: “When things are overwhelming, just do the basics. Do the laundry, get the mail, keep appointments but don’t do extra work.”
Here’s the amazing thing. When I tore up my To Do list, I was kinder to myself, which led to more confidence, which made things easier…and I got a lot more productive.
Judgment saps us of energy. And that blocks our best thinking. So between now and the new year, why not sneak in a little giving up? You’ll be glad you did.
Enjoy the holidays!
PS, One of my favorite things is to help professionals keep goals on the front burner. When they “give up” and call a coach for help, the gap between expectation and reality shrinks, and they can actually move forward. If that feels like you, email me and we’ll set up a time to chat: firstname.lastname@example.org