About 12 years ago, I went to see a nutritionist. I had recently gotten a new job where I had to “wine and dine” clients. The 5-10 pounds I had lived with were becoming 15-20. Read: “OK, just one more dessert…” What I learned from the nutritionist was simple, yet profound. My overeating was not my fault. If it sounds like I am shirking responsibility, consider this. For years my eating habits spiked my blood sugar and caused impossible cravings, yet I blamed myself for a lack of discipline and self-control. I was actually taking on more of the blame than was my due. It was punishing, demoralizing and, I came to see, totally unproductive.
Why am I bothering to tell you this? In the research I do, I often see people stuck in the idea that Leadership is like that self-control — you either have it or you don’t. Getting ahead is something that magically happens, or that happens because you work ’til you drop. We study great business and military leaders, and blame ourselves for not having that “secret sauce.” Yet when I work with one-on-one clients and groups, I find that the reality is more like that education in nutrition. Equipped with the awareness and the right building blocks, Leadership is something we can learn.
In my approach, I group the building blocks into three areas: Awareness, Strategy and Communication. One tool that I use and love, the Social Styles Inventory, supports all three of these areas. I use it with both corporate and individual clients. The Social Styles model, like the DISC or other assessments, tells us:
- which of four behavioral styles we tend to most be like,
- how our behavior affects others,
- how to read the styles of others, and
- how we can predict their behavior and adapt in order to better work with them.
The implications for leadership are again, simple yet profound. Consider this: When we are working in an entry to mid-level job, we are in a specialist job. Assuming the job is aligned with our Style, we will do well at it. However, as soon as we are promoted, we are likely to need to know how to leverage the skills and talents of others. Whether the others are direct reports or leaders of other departments with competing interests, to succeed as a leader means to be able to engage and empower a much broader network of people. Knowing how we and others behave means that we can “speak their language.” We communicate better, we gain influence, and we have more trusting relationships. Do you see how this could result in effective delegation, empowerment of others, and greater team happiness and productivity? Key hallmarks of effective leadership.
I love doing the Social Styles for individuals and groups, and am happy to discuss it with anyone who is interested. In the mean time, I want to give you some DIY tools. Some great books in the area of Leadership are The Leadership Challenge by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, Strengths Based Leadership by Tom Rath and Barrie Conchie, and two of my favorites, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey and Expect to Win by Carla Harris.
Spring…lead the way!
Claire
Isn’t it amazing what we can create and accomplish when we stop assuming we “should” already know how to do something, or have “more” discipline. And how freeing it is when we allow ourselves to learn about what we assume we should know, or already be doing? Thanks for the great reminder.