Being a good boy or girl looks like we are being accommodating, when actually it’s a mask we wear that keeps us invulnerable. It also keeps us from sharing the best of ourselves. We’ve all heard that leadership looks like “taking the high road,” “having distance on a situation,” but there’s an important distinction. When we don’t reveal our vulnerability, we can’t stand up for ourselves. And that is not leadership.
- Give yourself a moment to complain. Really feel the anger, frustration.
- Give yourself credit for being strong
- Acknowledge your part. I often hear clients tell me that, “Person XYZ had problems with everyone. They have a long list of complaints with H.R.” And yet they are still there. Counterintuitively, acknowledging our complicity in a situation is extremely freeing. We can forgive ourselves and then begin to brainstorm solutions.
- Share the gifts from the situation. Maybe it made you see a talent you didn’t know you had. And share the strengths of the other party.