Last month I found myself very busy with work. I also found myself distracted, unmotivated and a little blue. Finally, and thankfully, a friend of mine said, “Maybe you’re a little depressed.”
It was such a mild statement, but it jarred me. Me, depressed? I am a coach for goodness sake! And after a very short while, it relieved me. In fact, I had reason to be sad. Several shift had recently taken place in my life, some of them good, but I hadn’t adjusted to the change and it was throwing me off.
Today normal sadness seems to be unacceptable. Finding literature on this phenomenon wasn’t difficult. The book I found actually advocates for sadness as a good thing. I often think of the myth of the Rugged Individual. In America we seem to think that our fate is exclusively in our hands. We reject passive acceptance of sadness because it carries the implication of a lack of control. So what do we do when things happen in our lives that legitimately cause sadness and that need time to digest?
The first thing that seems to work for me is to realize that there is a legitimate cause for sadness and not be so hard on myself. Yes we all should and do get sad. When someone dies, when we leave our beloved friends because of a job change, when we move to a new neighborhood or city, the change can be hard. Once there is awareness, you can work on the problem. The second thing I do is to let time work for me. We think of mourning as something that applies to the death of a close loved one. But mourning can apply to any small loss or change, even a positive one. Yes, a positive one. Along with a great promotion can come sadness for the loss of easy camaraderie with piers who are no longer at the same level. Mourning is a period, no a moment. I let time do its thing. And the last thing I do is take care of myself. A period of sadness is no time to party excessively or laze around. If I am not up for a run, I take a walk. Little by little, the cycle breaks.